This is sick.. Totally..
I wonder why life is full of unexpectacies..
Police Station? some crazy pple who threatens to bring knife?
I would really recommend WoodBridge....

yeaah. 1 mth to my birthday. still rmbered last yr allan, khairun n yishan celebrated with me.. =) time really past.... i wonder what will happen this year.. maybe i'll be alone since we're now on our separate ways... it always falls on the holiday.. ha.. still remembered last year they were taking their O level mother exam.. and then i got my cca till evening just like allan's birthday.. whoever the birthday person is will have sth on.. then this yr, things are getting more and more complicated.. not sure.. currently in dilemma, mom's n dad's birthday coming soon.. and it's just day after another.. troubled with how am i going to face this kind of situation when my state of mind isn't v sound with all the piling homework, tests, anxiety... Sometimes, i think that birthday isn't a day worth celebrating as it somehow brings more problems to people involved...

Heats coming in just 4 days.. Am i up to it?

Haizz... Thinking about running, the first person who always comes to my mind is Allan.. Cuz of his influence i guess.. and then i train for Napfa, became one of the best girl runner in Upper Sec class.. Becuz of others' impression that i can run n thus i believe i can n try out, go ahead and pursue my passion of running.. YUp, here i am, running towards my finishing line... But then, it seems near yet far reaching from me.. Perhaps my confidence's dwindling gradually.. Not only running, but maybe many other things..

i seriously got a shock when i accidently clicked on ys's blog website.. the backgrd is the pic of me, her n allan.. so touched... v sweet of her =) bringing back all the fond memories

Desires

My Desires Are: More Sleep, More Time, More Energy..

Today i actually slept till 12pm.. REally a pig..

Ha.. Got cravings for movies.. my all time favourites...

May 4: Spiderman 3

May 18: Shrek the Third

May 25: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

July 13: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Kop this from sweehong's friendster.. think it's really cool with the title : ''wat i call love''

It's really amazing how well we bonded together despite being together in less than only 5 months.. TEam InnOVa =)

love u guys

Oh ya.. SPidERman 3 cOMiNG! who's interested?!

I wonder how uncivilized and ungentleman one can be... so irritating.. but im not v angry, just in a denial state.. can't imagine a person with such past status to be like that.. ROAR... impression getting worser n worseR! SHOoo

Final update: im running 1.5km, 3.0km, n 4 x 400m.. Omg.. almost shocked me that my 200m is changed to a 1.5km.. HA.. now i got muscleache cuz of the 1.23mins sprint.. DOtzx.. didnt do cool down / stretch.. REALLy rEGREt.. anyway, pple.. i will try to relax.... there's just something in me that's driving me nuts.. ROAR.. I got blisters from basketball during training today~! so cool la... Mr Wong, Hui yin, Serine played with the x country J1S! Weetx.. den we did relays!!!!!!! YEAH!

Again, and yet again.. history repeats.... the 5th time.. i wonder to what extend can i further embarrass myself but i jus can't control.. how can i get out of this crap cycle.... I'm throwing tantrum, having moodswing and last of all EMO.. Everything didnt come out smoothly.. Even 2.4km i ran 11.55mins.. 10secs slower than my PB.. Wat am i doing.... Now i doubt my ability to run for Rasalas.. 3Km.. am i able to make it with a gd timing to secure top 3? think think think... i wonder if i can even make it for training these few weeks... heard that x country doing napfa this friday.. HAIz... im in some deep shit... tired, frustrated, stressed out... what else..

I shall meet the school counsellor next week

Cried the fourth time in sch since start of the year.. First time, Mr Chan's apology.. Second one, at Meet the parents when i almost had to quit x country cuz i can't cope studies.. Third, im too busy n worried abt my Dad's condition that my life's in a rush, currently still.. FOurth, today, i failed my Bio test.. ALso, Chem test will be another one.. Again, my chem prac is in a total mess..... Am i going to be trapped in this terrible cycle? I don't want to retain... the feeling of not knowing the information when studied but forgot, stunned n panic at the instant of time is terrible....

Why am i so emotional, easily affected.. I feel so weak.... Whenever im confronted, i feel tiny n scared.... And then before i know it, my tears whelmed up n i break apart... Save me....

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. Mother Teresa

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.
Charles Caleb Colton

For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Crying crying n crying.. Lifeless...

Seriously i don't like guys who don't show respect to girls.. Please, there are limits...

ARGH`

Seriously i don't like guys who don't show respect to girls.. Please, there are limits...

ARGH`

Transition

me n shan.. during our sec1 first few mths.. looked nerd... LOL














shan n i.. LOLZ

hahaa.. my big hEaD.. me n shan!











THis is Disaster

sec 2 (becoming fat in process)

me n shan (Sec 2)





FAT (sec3) me n feli

BEn n i (sec4)

FAT (mid autumn festivak 2006)

after graduation ( christmas evE)

sec4

me n shan (sec4)

suat n me! YEA.. TMl jogging with heR!

Pw grp- Valerie(leader), Kelly( file manager), Jason( treasurer), Marla (secretary), Siow Ai (IT consultant).. Great.. i don't have to be the leader... and it'll be risky to have me in charge for such an important thing that'll stretch for 1/2 yr...... August training will start again, guess it will be getting busier... next yr, it'll be super xiong.. ( fIerCe).. cuz? we 're the team of 2008.. We'll aim for top 5!`

Sports day's 18th April.. Marla, Esther n i probably running 4x 400m.. Liane running short dist, rachel doing 1.5km? hmm.. see if she's joining us not....... For our individuals.. havent' decided.. shall see..... think about it, stress.. have to fight among ourselves... YUcKz..... Suffering from muscleache...... i need time to recover~ regret didn't stretch n cool down -.-''' too bad for me!~

1 more day to national! yeah.. v excited..... not stressed in fact! hAa..... ok.. today, was really crazy.. i was rushing my gas law early in the morning, but end up, mrs yap almost went thru everything.. as for maths, ya.. tried to do some, end up... also cannot.. hahaa.. half completed a graph.. Lol... mr kumar didn't give hw.. Hmm.. den was Civics.. felt so bad, being watched by ms yeo.. hmm.. cuz i kept writing my handbk abt the planner.. maybe i looked like im doing hw.. yeahz.. marla was telling us about the service learning day.. well.. not really.. cuz we going this sat to Melrose Kid's Society, an orphanage.. not really on May 2.. HAa.. unless we found another organisation.. not sure yet, cuz we can't do it as a class this sat as some pple can't make it.. Sad.. another few hrs gone.. but that will be meaningfully spent.. anyway, geo was a swift.. though i really must admit my work that's not up to quality.. seriously, im going to type my answers in soft copy.. but maybe that will be during june.. after GPP, PI done.. BTw, tml got Pw, most probably the allocation of group.. i don't really wish who will be in my group.. but well.. hopefully no problematic pple... if so, it doesn't really matter.. cuz im in that grp, hurhur.. think for urself.........

Everyday was raining like craazy.... i hope turf city wun be flooded like what sweehong said.. but sure, it will..the rain won't evaporate overnight? ha.. i dun wan to sink into the mud la.. SIAN........... dun have the 'push' feeling..... oh ya.. today did tapering.. being say by mr chen cuz we weren't doing our race pace.. we were like doing intervals.. LOLZ..... hmm.. Kok loong was the onli one doing the right pace.. after training, we went one round of reflection on how we currently feel, target for tml, and the whole experience training in x county with all of us.. Haa.... nice one =)

Better rest well tonight.. FOr info, A division starts at 4.40pm.. the girls will be running before the guys.. Mr Chen's target for me.. a surprising 17.30mins.. hopefully, i'll acheive it.. =)

TEAM INNOVA HERE WE GO!!!!

1 more day to national! yeah.. v excited..... not stressed in fact! hAa..... ok.. today, was really crazy.. i was rushing my gas law early in the morning, but end up, mrs yap almost went thru everything.. as for maths, ya.. tried to do some, end up... also cannot.. hahaa.. half completed a graph.. Lol... mr kumar didn't give hw.. Hmm.. den was Civics.. felt so bad, being watched by ms yeo.. hmm.. cuz i kept writing my handbk abt the planner.. maybe i looked like im doing hw.. yeahz.. marla was telling us about the service learning day.. well.. not really.. cuz we going this sat to Melrose Kid's Society, an orphanage.. not really on May 2.. HAa.. unless we found another organisation.. not sure yet, cuz we can't do it as a class this sat as some pple can't make it.. Sad.. another few hrs gone.. but that will be meaningfully spent.. anyway, geo was a swift.. though i really must admit my work that's not up to quality.. seriously, im going to type my answers in soft copy.. but maybe that will be during june.. after GPP, PI done.. BTw, tml got Pw, most probably the allocation of group.. i don't really wish who will be in my group.. but well.. hopefully no problematic pple... if so, it doesn't really matter.. cuz im in that grp, hurhur.. think for urself.........

Everyday was raining like craazy.... i hope turf city wun be flooded like what sweehong said.. but sure, it will..the rain won't evaporate overnight? ha.. i dun wan to sink into the mud la.. SIAN........... dun have the 'push' feeling..... oh ya.. today did tapering.. being say by mr chen cuz we weren't doing our race pace.. we were like doing intervals.. LOLZ..... hmm.. Kok loong was the onli one doing the right pace.. after training, we went one round of reflection on how we currently feel, target for tml, and the whole experience training in x county with all of us.. Haa.... nice one =)

Better rest well tonight.. FOr info, A division starts at 4.40pm.. the girls will be running before the guys.. Mr Chen's target for me.. a surprising 17.30mins.. hopefully, i'll acheive it.. =)

TEAM INNOVA HERE WE GO!!!!

Congrats to Jia Qi, my junior in JSSCO.. ceLLo! hee..
Also, Elaine Ng from Innova JC New Media ArtS? hmm.. not bad..

I think i'll probably die off.. Thurs Bio test, Fri Chem test.. But i'll put these aside after nationals..

For now, i better complete my gas law tutorial, geo tutorial n readings, maths tutorials..

Ink Cartridge running low, have to spend another 50 plus again... HMm....

Currently at 60.1kg!

The ''ABC'' of managing behaviour

Antecedent + Belief = Consequences

or

Antecedent = Behaviour = Consequences

i will never ever grow up.. why do i break down everytime jus like that..... wearing the tie and yet crying in school really should make myself reflect... believe it or not, wed i'll put all out... thanks alot to teachers=> Ms Yeo, Mr Tan, Ms Tay, Mr Hamim n most importantly Mr Wong and Mr Chen.. also, i'm touched by the my mum........ though she wasn't demanding me to quit, but she makes it sound so depressing n concerned....

after wed, trainings will be lesser.. no more macritchie or turf city... meaning lesser time together.. J2s, we'll miss u guys lotz

HAppy INternational Friendship day.. ! hahaa..... also, it's black friday the 13th! WOA

oh ya.. can't believe it.. im 100g overweight.. so dots.....................

anyway my mum wants to complain abt tat.. she thinks im thin? which is exactly not true n opposite! FAT.. 60.7kg.... althou it is really a great difference from 66kg, last yr highest.. Mr Chen n Mr Wong said they can tok to her anytime.. =) Wonder what Mr Wong will talk to Mr Hamim about me on monday.. maybe jus say i wun be running for mon-wed cuz of the nationals.. -.-

Falling again. Almost, yet another time. But hey, i can't let this happen. Seriously can't.

8 days to national's!

Im so so traumatised by Chem Prac.. haiz....... always last to complete.. still can do wrong somemore... Today we had bio quiz which i think wun turn out v gd.. GP essay was much better i guess.. Qn i did: Misfortune is the best teacher. Do u agree?

I was too sleepy during bio tutorial.. i actually wrote cross linkage into cross country? proteins into photos? wth....... totally cancelling 3/4 out of the words i wrote... Ha

Today went round the sch just to get CG administrative stuff done, looked like some busy person walking here and there for lots of time..

This morning went for TAF which Mr Hamime said it was not officially started.... -.- still ran but was an ultra slow speed.. 30 mins for 3.2km? lolz.. cuz i died at 4th rd without warm up... den i walked for some n jog for some.. ROar..... slacking my way.... Mr Daniel Lee was like hold ur arms up, near to body.. wasn't listening n so didnt do wat he said.. so for like 4 rds plus, he has been telling me that.... n he told me, ''girl you are almost there, just watch ur diet''. Oh my.. was alrdy there, i grew shorter? dat's the sad thing.. LOL?!

Heard that Woodlands MRT got pple go suicide or got into accident.. So, alot pple were late cuz of that.. Am i lucky or wat, i didn't take MRt and took bus to sch today instead.. HAa... too tired that i slept throughout, until someone tapped on my shoulder to wake me up.. Ha.. Heaven's will n fated.. HAa.. like yesterday didn't go see track competition like dat.. in the end, it rained with thunderstorm again.. LOL!

Still got Geo readings, geo tutorials, geo mindmap, maths extra qns, tutorial, assignments haven't do.. chem assignment also... OVERWHEMLED.........! aRGh....

9 days to NAtionAL!~ yeAh... tml got training, wed turf city.. Hmm......tAPering will be fun.. haa...... Yong Cheng joined x country in JJ.. hA.. alot of surprises happening..

I seriously cannot take it when pple ask me if im in x country with that kind of tone.... just couldnt believe it or wat? RArr............ ya, i admit im slower than jss x country runners. But that shouldn't be a reason why i won't be in x country? they have been runners since lower sec.. me? J1.. like 4 yrs ltr? imagine one with 15 plus timing to 14 plus, to 13 plus, till sec 4 11.58mins..... watever it is,i have improved, i'll run my best for nationals despite others view on me... Before the end of the yr, my targeted weight will be 56kg..jia you~! i can do it......

Seeing you in this kind of state hurts me so. My heart's breaking. Take care of yourself.

I thought I got away from this...Little did I know I was only getting deeper...The rain pounds on the windowas the pain tears at my heart...Am I going crazy? Or have I just lost my way.It's nothing like I've imagined...It's worse.......The cuts they keep comingbut everythings the same....Im slowly disappearing.....No one will notice when Im gone....Kick me while Im down right? Your getting pretty good at it...you're tearing me in two.....Just put me down easy....How can you call me a friend when Im always hurt by you? I thought it would be better by now..Trust me.... Its not...

After cross training yesterday, went to Jurong Regional Library. It was raining cats and dogs and hence, didn't go Bukit Gombak to see Track. Wonder if today will be going. HMM. Night, went to Botanic Garden for dinner. Total spent $11 bucks on the food which was so food court style. Mum said we should have went to the Western Restaurant instead.

that's me, gabriel, marla n noel at the gym.. LOLz.. anyway.. though im on my new spec, i cutted my hair.. So i looked different now compared to the pic which is like one week ago.. HAhaa.. also, i have hormone imbalance or what.. SUFFERING FROM PIMPLES!!! ROAAARRR~ okok, i shall take it positively.. I'm still growing =) HAhaa.. AS IF`

in the end, i didn have to go for TAF this week.. cuz it officially starts next week.. haha.. Mr Wong said he has been expecting me to return him his lip balm during the camp on the last day.. hm.. in the end i can't find him, so i didnt.. sorry.. thinking abt it.. i felt stupid.. imagine a person who got her lip cut n bleed with the first bite of the ice cream.. ARGH..... anyway.. saw some J1s running.. am i slacking or what.. cuz mr wong told me no need to run, do hw.. but he advise others to start with 6 rds of track..ha......

this few days i have been eating banana bread, softmeal bread, and raisin buns.. HAa..

oh ya.. Ms Tay is now known as Mrs Yap

Today PW, i'm really sorry i took up alot of time discussing with Mrs Yang cuz she wanted to evaluate the other options.. Then my ideas were rather controversial.. But she said the idea i chose is one that is worth looking into.. DEPTH!

Maths- TOday MR KUmar seems to be easily angered.. OK.. CIvis heard that Rasalas lost cuz we got stuck at a place.. Amazing Race today is played by Leader- Jian hui, n Gabriel n MinKit.. Gd Job GUys! they sweated alot..

LUNCh- Wasted alot time queueing up at the bookshop.. -.- OH YA.. BANKRUPT.. 100 plus spent on materials...

PErhaps i should look through financial assistance scheme.. see if i qualify n then apply for it...

Geo- i said spying pple on MSN was my hobby.. LOL!

PE- didn t go cuz got training ltr.. WOotx..

Training- LAzy to elaborate.. look at ijc x country blog! i spent alot time blogging the post.. lol!

http://ijcrossies.blogspot.com

hey guys, i cut my hair.. yup... so do recognise me with my new outlook..
anyway.. today my 10 hrs plus of precious time is wasted cuz of the cementery.. also.. the night 'walk' with my mum..
i still got my PI template A to do, bio tutorials, bio test to study, chem prac, chem tutorials to do.. bless me